The flight response is fueled by the fear that one’s ideas don’t matter, arguments are counterproductive, or it’s just not worth the effort to speak up. The fight response, on the other hand, is bound up in either the fear of being wrong or simply the desire to win the argument.

In the workplace, respectful conflict builds cohesive and productive teams. Here’s how you and your employees can harness your fight or flight responses and instead engage in healthy team conflict.

Take a Deep Breath

If your instinct is to fight, take a breath before diving into an argument. As soon as you feel yourself getting defensive, pause and evaluate what you are feeling and why. Are you determined to be right? Are you convinced no one else has anything valuable to add to the conversation? Or are you offended that you aren’t being heard? 

Remember: The best way to foster meaningful dialogue and be heard — especially amidst team conflict — is to ensure each participant has the opportunity to share their perspective, too.

If, on the other hand, your usual response is to remain silent or retreat, instead of leaving the discussion mentally or physically, lean in and listen carefully. Consider what point of view is being ignored and write down solutions that jump to mind for you — you can always bring them up after the conversation has cooled down.

Change Your Perspective

Sometimes all you need to turn an unproductive argument to productive team conflict is a simple shift in perspective. Instead of focusing on winning the argument, reset your priorities and strive to either learn something new or find the best solution for the team. Seek to understand and others will be more open to understanding your point of view, too.

Employees who tend to avoid team conflict by telling themselves they have nothing significant to contribute to the discussion should remind themselves they each have a perspective that no one else does. Instead of seeing the conversation as having one winner and many losers, see it as a way to merge all your perspectives to create the best solution. 

Collaboration is far more effective than an every-man-for-himself approach, and everyone’s ideas and questions are needed to complete the team. In fact, a team that communicates cohesively and effectively will lead to a more unified workplace.

Practice Respect

The desire to win the argument can lead to personal attacks, raised voices, and repeated monologues when you feel you are not being heard. For healthy, productive team conflict, it’s important to be willing to apologize when you observe this behavior in yourself. 

Soften your approach so there is room for other opinions and ideas (especially from those whose instinct is to flee team conflict). Speak more tentatively, ask for other opinions and ideas, and hold one another mutually accountable when it comes to respect.

Every workplace faces team conflict and communication issues. Those that want to thrive must address these growth areas to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.

Teams that discuss conflict with openness can create healthy ground rules for discussion and move forward with the tools to produce better solutions and results.

How do you plan to foster healthy team conflict resolution in your workplace? Let me know in the comments!

You may be surprised to learn that there is no best leadership style. There are actually many good ways to lead. The key is knowing how to choose the most effective style for the situation you’re facing. The best leaders have this ability. Certainly, there are one or two leadership styles you’ll gravitate toward, but it’s important to continue to work on developing all styles.

Your best style of leadership should have many variables and context. You choose the leadership style needed at any given moment based on the context of yourself, those you are leading, and the work environment.

To discover what’s needed to lead — and lead well — you must know how to adapt. This begins with asking yourself a few questions. At first, this may take some getting used to, but over time it will become automatic. Soon you’ll easily fit leadership styles to situations without thinking twice.

Asking the Right Questions

So what are these questions you should be asking yourself? First, you must examine your own personality, motivators, and experience. How are you most comfortable leading and being led? What are your personality strengths, and how do these lead to your weaknesses when carried to extreme or frequency? What experience do you have leading and influencing others?

Second, what are the strengths and weaknesses of those who you are influencing and leading? What are their motivators? What is their work experience and competence? Are they learners or competent experts?

Third, what are the organization’s strengths and weaknesses? What are the crises? Where is change urgent? Where is the status quo acceptable? What does your company culture tolerate?

Choosing Your Leadership Styles

Based on your answers to the questions above, you can decide how to lead based on the situation at hand. There are many leadership styles to choose from. Here are seven of the most common:

Democratic: The democratic leader makes decisions based on the input of teams. Every person shares their point of view, and often the leader makes the final decision. This style can be effective because leaders can utilize the role to educate, secure buy-in, and problem-solve difficult scenarios. However, you may not always have the time for this process.

Autocratic or Directive: Autocratic leadership, also known as authoritarian leadership, is a leadership style characterized by individual control over decisions with little input from group members. These leaders typically make choices based on their ideas and judgments. This works well in a crisis but rarely leads to buy-in and commitment from followers later.

Supportive or Servant: Servant leaders focus on meeting the needs of their followers; they lead by example. Supportive leaders are other-focused and motivated to help others succeed. This unselfish approach requires integrity, authenticity, and a truly generous spirit. Therefore, this motivates others and leads to high morale among motivated professionals — some call this a coaching leadership style. This style is great for team and individual development but isn’t always efficient at getting things done.

Laissez-Faire: Laissez-faire leaders yield nearly all authority to a trusted team. The term literally means “let them do.” Some leaders view this as empowerment, but it can lead to a lack of direction and irresponsibility on the part of the leader. The development of others often lags under this leadership. There aren’t many positives for this style of leadership because it leads to a disconnected team and leader. Use this style sparingly and then only with accomplished colleagues for short periods.

Strategic or Visionary: Strategic leaders prompt change and improvement by being strategic in their thinking, actions, and words. They have a knack for pointing out new possibilities, seeing challenges as opportunities, and causing others to catch and share their vision. They provide focus to continually move teams and organizations forward.

Transformational: Transformational leaders motivate others to do more than thought they might otherwise have been able to. They propose aspirational thoughts of what could be and then point the way to change and improvement. These kinds of leaders challenge and ask people to achieve new heights previously thought inconceivable.

Transactional: Transactional leaders focus on the exchange of value. Followers get immediate and tangible results for following the plan. This style requires clear expectations and communication. Without clear feedback, the results and the transaction fail. This type of leadership style is good for speed and efficiency, but often doesn’t build trust or lead to team/individual development.

Leadership in Action

Remember, leadership styles are not one-size-fits-all. What works best depends on the situation you’re faced with. And if you’re wondering if there’s a worst style — yes. It’s the one you use all the time.

The best leaders are constantly learning. Great leaders lean into this and seek to educate themselves about their team and the individual team members. They understand the motivation toward individual and collective team goals.

Is this approach easy? No. It will stretch you. However, by continuing to develop new leadership styles, you will be more effective and your organization will be stronger.

Which leadership styles do you gravitate toward? Which ones do you need to work on? Leave us a comment below, and let us know which style is your favorite and how we might be able to help you develop the others.

Empathy is the ability to sense and articulate other’s feelings and viewpoints.  We begin to practice empathy when we demonstrate an active interest in others.  We are beginning to “walk in their shoes.”

Is it any wonder that in today’s world we need to cultivate the skill of empathy in business?  This is how we generate new business, engage employees, create effective change and the best solutions, and build loyalty.  With physical distancing and virtual meetings, this skill becomes even more crucial, and those who lack the skill will fall behind as leaders.  

We don’t learn empathy in a workshop.  These techniques and behaviors can be learned.  We build empathic skills by practicing these in the real world!  And we do so, not to manipulate or “fake it until we make it”.  We practice it because we know how important it is in our own lives when someone acts with empathy toward us.

Here are some ways we can learn the skills of empathy:

Get Out of Your Chair

As managers of people, we spend too much time in our chair or working alone as producers.  The old adage “management by walking around” is overused and abused when we use the concept to just make sure everyone is busy.  Instead, focus on learning what other people are thinking and feeling.  At first, our employees will wonder what we’re up to.  After some time, they will realize we are genuinely interested in them as individuals (if indeed we are).  As someone said, “we can’t walk in someone’s shoes if we are sitting at our desk.”  This method allows you to speak to individuals and draw out their ideas and concerns.  Demonstrate you care by your focus and non-verbal behavior.

Value Relationships

I usually learn the hard way (translation: by making mistakes).  So, as I reflect on my prior management history, I burned too many bridges.  Unfortunately, I did not value relationships like I do today, and simply focused on getting the work done.  I never stopped to consider that I needed these relationships to gain a new perspective, foster change, and create an enlivened workplace.  I hope you will learn from my mistakes.  We need each other.  We need trust to keep our business moving forward.  Our job as leaders is to support and care for our co-workers and clients.  Our service to these important people enlivens relationships that could span beyond our professional careers. 

Problems Are Opportunities

Whether we are working with clients or employees, there will always be challenges.  How do we decide between competing perspectives?  We must work together toward solutions.  Collaboration is pointless if we make the decision without empathically listening to all perspectives. By taking all ideas seriously and hearing them out, the team can often develop new ideas that no one considered before beginning.  And even if there is no great revolutionary solution, empathic listening demonstrates that we heard and care about all perspectives.  The added benefit to an empathetic approach is the buy-in that occurs when all sides are heard.

Suspend Judgment

Want to open the door to empathy? Suspend your judgments and built-in skepticism.  In so doing, we open the door to new ideas.  When we seek understanding, we listen instead of judge.  Talk less and seek to more completely understand.  Reflect the message back to the other person to ensure we have received the message correctly and it provides an opportunity for clarification of any misunderstandings. We amplify our understanding. This action alone will demonstrate your investment in the conversation and your commitment to understanding the person across from you.

Practice Humility

Stephen Covey often quoted this anonymous phrase: “No one knows everything about anything.”  Plato gives credit to Socrates for the quote: “I know that I know nothing” (though there is no record of the quote found in his writings).  Nonetheless, humility is a great emphatic tool.  The more we stay in a learning mode, the more empathic we will be with others.  Humility reminds us that we must explore and constantly adjust our knowledge.  As we think of the complexity of people and ideas, this is easy to see, but hard to admit.

Demonstrate Vulnerability

Be human!  Leaders do not make great superheroes.  Showing vulnerability demonstrates personal security and courage.  Authentic leaders build trust and loyalty by being transparent, admitting mistakes, and acknowledging weaknesses.  Employees see our weaknesses and mistakes.  We are all reassured when the boss can just admit to being human.  We don’t have to predict the future to express confidence that together we will make life better for all.  The more vulnerable we are the more likely your co-workers will follow our lead.

Analytical, technical insights are concrete and enduring.  This is why I trust the bridges, roadways, buildings, and dams that these fine professionals design and build.  However, analysis and concrete thinking can miss an infinite number of insights and wisdom when we ignore our respect and concern for the people we work for and with.  Insightful solutions and people engagement are critical business concerns. 

The CrossGroup works with smart and competent professions who are experts in their specialties. But when it comes to people — employees, clients, and partners — we are all learning.  We must be empathic to more fully appreciate and respect each other.  Ultimately, we will serve each other more effectively and arrive at more complete solutions in so doing. 

This is an opportune time to move beyond words and to take action to demonstrate that prevailing systems of degradation and injustice must end. Maybe you thought this was the politicians’ role.  I’ve had that thought many times.  But now I see clearly that we who lead in the world of work can have a profound impact and do so with action and words. As business leaders and human beings, we must use our influence to transform our way of thinking and behaving. I’ve heard and read the words of business leaders over the past several weeks and have wondered will we truly act or just speak.  Will we move beyond our privilege and complacency to shatter the status quo of systemic racism?

And you may be thinking, “you’re right”, our business leaders should take action.  Since our audience is made of business leaders at all levels, we know that true change is only possible when we all (leaders at every level within organizations) take personal action and responsibility.  If we are not careful, we will just blame and complain and refuse to take ownership.  We must be the change we seek in the world (Gandhi).

So, how do we move past the polite, politically appropriate speech and truly make a difference?  What could business leaders do no matter where they find themselves in their organizations?

Know Yourself

We must be honest with ourselves first.  Robin DiAngelo in her book, White Fragility, reminds us all that we have grown up in a racist culture.  It impacts how we think because it is normal for humans to adopt bias in the way we perceive others.  This frankly is a difficult reality, and I resist the idea that I’m a racist.  To justify my defensiveness, I classify a racist as someone who commits crimes against a person of another race or abuses through power and privilege.  I can then let myself “off the hook” justifying my hidden prejudgments (even from myself).

We are sometimes willingly oblivious to what is going on around us.  Though I might know about some of the issues facing people of color, I am insolated and blind to systemic racism. After all, I am a benefactor of this system.  We all have much to learn.  And we will only learn with humility admitting our failures and ignorance.  As long as our defensive systems are in place, we will learn very little.

So, how honest can you be even in the privacy of your mind?

Listen

I have several trusting relationships with people of color.  But do I really listen to them?  Do I let my guard down and allow them to speak to me truthfully about the part I play in the system?  Do I ask them for honest feedback?  Would I hear them if they attempted to speak truth to me?

So, I have much work to do here. I must enhance trust in these relationships.   Trust takes time, but it also requires intentional, vulnerable action on my part.  I intend to make this a priority with specific people.

I also will widen my circle of friends to include the immigrant, the other person across town, and marginalized persons outside my comfortable, privileged culture.

Speak Up

We live in a culture of silence when it comes to honest feedback and accountability.  This silence leads to corruption and injustice.  As leaders, we must decide which is more valuable: truth or power.  As power prevails injustice will follow – first in small ways and then on a grand scale. 

Joseph Grenny (of Crucial Conversations fame) recently co-authored an op-ed with two colleagues from The Other Side Academy — Accountability is Key to Changing Police Culture.  I hope you will read it.  I appreciated their emphasis on the value of “200% Accountability” used in the TOSA program.  “200% accountability means I am not only 100% accountable for my own behavior but I am also 100% accountable for everyone else’s behavior. If you see it, you say it. Period. Not only is there no retribution for pointing out others’ faults, it is seen as a sign of love and selflessness to do so.”  We call this being accountable for each other.

Find your voice.  Observe your surroundings.  Share your feedback.  Create safety and space for others to give you feedback.  As we speak up when we see injustice or abuse of power, we  choose to love our neighbor.  We are supporting our co-workers and making our national culture a better place for all to live. 

Taking all three of these lessons to heart and acting on them will change you and me, and those we  influence.  Join me . . . practice some personal introspection.  Listen carefully and become more open with your neighbor.  Speak up and become mutually accountable to allow others to tell you the truth.  Our nation needs leaders at all levels in every walk of life to fight injustice, seek the truth, and walk the talk of equality and fairness.  I invite your ideas.

There are some great resources out there to help to begin conversations with others.  The article, How to Begin Talking About Race in the Workplace, was written specifically for leaders in the middle of an organization.  Take some time and generate ideas you could use.  The article’s author, Stephanie Creary, has a helpful YouTube presentation with some practical exercises you can use.

What is mindfulness?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA.org, 2012), mindfulness is “. . . moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment.”  The goal of mindfulness is to pay close attention to your physical sensations, thoughts and emotions in order to see them more clearly, without making assumptions or making up stories.

In Lifehacker, Pinola (2014) suggests many synonyms for mindfulness: awareness, attention, focus, presence, or vigilance.  He reminds us the opposite is not mindlessness.  Instead, a lack of mindfulness is distractedness, inattention, and lack of engagement. Psychology Today defined the term as “a state of active, open attention on the present” (“Mindfulness,” n.d.).

Merriam-Webster sums it up quite well: “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.”

In short, we simply learn to listen to and accept the thoughts and feelings that arise within us. First we can practice noticing when we are having these unfavorable thoughts, labels, criticisms, judgments and feelings. Once we realize this, we can then stop them in their tracks by choosing to observe them rather than letting them run the show.

Stephen Covey credited the following quote to Victor Frankl.  This infamous quote reminds us that we can choose new and better responses.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Why is mindfulness important?

“There’s a reason companies are including this as a requirement for their teams: it works, in various ways for different participants. Mindfulness has been thought to help in a number of ways, but the most significant include reducing anxiety, heightening productivity, and contributing to a greater sense of presence.” – Forbes

The methods suggested below help by allowing us to improve our focus. When we constantly flit from one task to another, the quality of our work can suffer. By practicing mindfulness — simply coming back to the present moment repeatedly — we can train ourselves to become more focused.

Personally, I believe mindfulness allows to us to calm ourselves and make healthy, life-giving choices.  In our pause, we can choose new responses.  Here are some ideas.

How do you practice mindfulness?

When you are experiencing a particularly stressful moment, a popular mindfulness exercise known as S.T.O.P. can be helpful:

• Stop. Just take a momentary pause, no matter what you’re doing.
• Take a breath. Feel the sensation of your own breathing, which brings you back to the present moment.
• Observe. Acknowledge what is happening, for good or bad, inside you or out. Just note it.
• Proceed. Having briefly checked in with the present moment, choose your best response, and continue the task or conversation with this new response.  – NY Times

In meetings (particularly virtual meetings), the lack of focus on the present moment can create a huge waste of time.  To encourage focus and the sense of being present, you might encourage some simple rules for meetings:

• Turn off distractions (emails, texts, etc.)
• Keep notes visible and circulate the notes after the meeting
• Insist that everyone share ideas and call on those who are hesitant to keep everyone engaged
• End the meeting by seeking commitment to next steps by individual contributors
• Keep meeting brief and to the point

In personal conversations (particularly difficult ones), be present.  It is possible to listen to what another person is saying even when we disagree.  Rather than formulating our rebuttal to change the other’s mind, pause and create the habit of trying to understand.  Make your goal to first seek understanding, and then confirm what you’ve learned through rephrasing and reflecting.

You can control yourself.  Mindfulness is as close as your next breath.  When frustrated, confused, or procrastinating, take a deep breath. What are you feeling? What was the stimulus for this feeling? What stories are you telling yourself?  When your mind wanders, come back to the sensations in your body and examine your stories.  Pause and create a healthy response.

It’s as simple as acknowledging the distractions that pop up. Stop, breathe, and take a step back. Perhaps, ask a person to repeat what they just said.  Or with tasks completion, ask what’s the next most important step. 

One final suggestion is to cultivate personal gratitude and compassion for others. “A happy life is not a life that is free of negativity and irritation, a happy life is a life where negativity and irritation are not fed and strengthened rather they are graciously acknowledged and humbly accepted.” – Psych Central. Expressing gratitude enhances your well-being and allows you to accept the good and difficult times. Who needs to hear your gratitude today?

To lead with compassion and empathy, we must take our focus off ourselves.  Unselfish service to others creates this mindset.  Mindful leaders focus on those who are right in front of them.  Compassion prioritizes other persons first and demonstrates positive intentions towards them.  Leaders who ensure others know that you have their back build the kind of trust that encourages engagement, loyalty and performance.  Empathy puts you in their shoes.  We know longer just pretend.  We show them we really do care.

Cultivate mindfulness for yourself.  I think you will agree that this changes your outlook and your effectiveness.

This three-minute video from Travis Bradberry (co-author of Emotion Intelligence 2.0) suggests ten personal strategies for staying calm under stress – enjoy.

How many of us understood how many calories we were consuming at our favorite restaurants before that feature on menus became a trend?  It influences what I order today. 

Transparency is the new model.  How have you adjusted as you lead your firm?

Without transparency in business, you empower the rumor mill in your organization.  My experience with the rumor factory is that it is rarely accurate and does not give the company leaders the benefit of the doubt.  Openness and vulnerability over time create an environment where trust is built and maintained.

We begin the transparency journey with the first step – some hard questions. Do you admit your mistakes?  How do you explain setbacks?  What do you do when a valuable employee departs?  Do you blame and complain?  How often do you tell the truth and avoid the spin factor?

As leaders we are held to a higher standard, now more than ever.   Therefore, we must be open, honest, and straightforward about our operations and strategies for the future.  Transparent companies share information relating to company performance, revenue, processes, pricing, and business values.  When things go wrong in business, transparent companies don’t try to hide it. Instead, they’re upfront about the issue.

Benefits of Transparency in Business

Transparency in business builds trust with employees and clients.  In fact, one of the mantras of one of our client CEO’s is “bad news does not get better over time.”  Employees and clients insist on doing business with companies they trust.  Even when the news is not pleasant, we should be honest and share it in order to build trust.  I find that moving through conflict and difficulty can cement trust in internal and external relationships.

When employees trust their employers, there’s an increase in advocacy, loyalty, engagement, and commitment. If you want employees to trust you, be transparent with them. You just may see that decline in turnover and spike in productivity that all businesses desire.

You may be wondering, “Can we be too transparent?”  Absolutely.  We need to guard our business models or technical expertise so that competitors don’t copy our unique solutions.  In some industries it is appropriate to have confidentiality agreements and non-compete clauses in employee contracts.  We must guard our competitive advantage.

Ways to Promote Transparency

Share Information with Your Employees.  Write an internal news article with regular frequency to give your employees the last business news. Host meetings with employees that are a two-way communication between key leaders and line employees.  Answer questions honestly and openly.  Use your managers to relay news to their employees and ask employees what they heard to make sure the cascading message is forthright.  Explain the facts about revenue and pricing structures.  Compare your strategies to your competitors.  Admit mistakes and how the firm is rectifying them.

Affirm Your Values.  This is hard work and if we’re not careful we will have a list that is too long and not memorable.  I heard Patrick Lencioni say in a conference that if we have more than three priorities, we have no priorities.  Can you distill your values into three distinct statements?  As these three values inform our decision-making and our actions, others will see us as trustworthy and authentic.  When measuring performance and strategies, the values should be front and center.  Employees observe what we do much more that what we say.

Don’t Spin; Tell the Truth.  People can always tell when we are in “spin mode”.  What have you learned from your mistakes and failures?  Be human and connect to the other humans in your organization.  Share information with honesty and provide solutions for repairing the mistakes or building on the lessons learned.  Give credit to the true contributors in the organization.  Highlight successful projects and let the performers receive the credit that is due them.

Though it is not easy, transparency in business builds trust and trustworthiness.  Over time transparency increases employee engagement, client loyalty, company revenues, and innovation.  It is well worth the effort!

Don’t get me wrong.  I love what I do.  At the same time, I feel that I am being stretched a bit too thin. When I try to do too many things, I feel as though I am unable to excel at just a few things.  Consequently, I fear I am becoming mediocre at many things. I’m going back and forth about whether I need to have this conversation with my boss asking for more resources.  What’s the best approach?  How do I have this conversation without sounding like I’m whining? 

The pressure to do more with less can be overwhelming.  We all experience this dilemma if we serve in management even for a short time.  It’s easy to lose our coping mechanisms over time, which causes the work to suffer along with the morale of the team. 

There are no simple solutions.  The stress your boss is feeling flows down to the rest of your team.  So, how do we cope and excel in a world of increasing demands and not enough time? 

I believe you can have an answer to this question and an effective conversation with your boss in four weeks if you follow these simple performance coaching strategies.  

Examine Yourself 

The first question you need to discern for yourself is, “How can I say “no” or ask for more help?” Start by examining yourself, your workflow, and your habits.  Make a two-week study of the flow of work and your own use of time.    

The key to powerful performance coaching is using objective data to inform a subjective experience. Be ruthless here. Don’t make excuses. Examine the facts.

Performance Coaching Exercise

Begin by keeping a log of how you spend your time.  Each day record your activity in fifteen- or thirty-minute increments.  At the end of the day (or early the next day), briefly reflect on your log and record your insights. 

If you are a manager, I suspect you will find plenty of interruptions and emergencies.  Remember these are a part of your job.  Simply record and categorize the interruptions.  Your categories may include the following types of activities: 

• Meetings  Regardless of your position, you will likely find plenty of meetings.  Identify how you and your team benefitted and how you contributed in these meetings.  Which meetings did not require your presence?  What could be streamlined?
• Investing in Others  How much time are you coaching or training your staff?  How much time are you away from your desk managing by walking around and dialoguing with your team?  How much time is spent delegating important tasks or following up with these delegations? 
• Individual Work  You are likely an individual contributor as well.  What tasks are you doing?  How might someone else benefit from learning these tasks? 

Next, examine the data that your company uses to measure your success and the team’s success.  Record where you are now to develop a baseline of objective facts. 

As you reflect on the two-week experiment, what did you discover?  How often were you able to invest time in the most important tasks?  Define what is most important by three criteria:  your role responsibilities, your values, and your boss’ priorities.  You may find some time wasters to eliminate as a result.

Lastly, prepare to share your ideas with your team.  Plan to be vulnerable, admit your mistakes, and the tentative solutions you have gathered.  

Team-Focused Performance Coaching 

In many ways, you and your team members can provide performance coaching for each other while on the job. Begin by asking your team to do the same exercise described above for one week. 

Perhaps ask them to record their activities in one-hour increments and summarize their findings at the end of the week to simplify experience.  Ask them to be careful to make this summary a proactive solution-based summary that avoids excuses, blaming, and complaining.   

Next, meet again in the following week and collaborate. This session may take a few hours.   Facilitate this meeting in a manner that leads to practical solutions.  Call on each team member to share the individual findings.  Where you hear complaining, ask for solutions that are within the control of you and your team.  Then record the tentative solutions on a flip chart or marker board. 

There will likely be duplicate solutions.  Find the one (or maybe two) “low hanging fruit” solutions that you and the team can address immediately.  Seek their commitment to follow through.  Write this up in practical, behavior-based goals that can be reviewed at every team meeting for the next three months.  Ask the team to be mutually accountable to help everyone follow through successfully. 

Finally, record additional solutions that you can bring back to the group for future evaluation and development. 

Now you are ready to speak to your boss. 

Share Your Findings with Your Boss 

You have likely uncovered issues and solutions that are beyond your control and influence.  Hold these ideas for later in the discussion. 

Talk to your boss about what you and your team have committed to undertake to make sure you are serving him or her and the organization more effectively.  Share the specific goals that you have developed with your team and ask for concurrence.   Explain how you will follow up to make sure you and the team are developing better habits and efficiency.  Promise to report back in three months on your progress using the goals and your baseline data. 

Then, suggest ways that your boss can help you succeed using his or her influence within the organization.  This may include permission to hire a new team member, added resources, cooperation from another team or peer, or whatever your perceived need.  Your boss will appreciate your preparation and proactivity. 

These simple steps could be game changers for you and for your team.  Turn the stress into the energy that is required to excel.  I hope you will let me know what you discover and how we can support you in creating change within your organization. 

Some of the greatest leaders in history experienced failure. The reason they are in history is because they didn’t let that failure define them. We can learn from their example in that we should embrace failure and let it guide us. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

We know that failure is a part of growth, so what does an effective leader do to make sure a failure is a milestone along the way to success?

First, we must admit it.

No one recovers from a failure that is not identified. The first step in learning from your mistake is to see it and admit it. Otherwise, we are living in our own excuses and the fantasy of our own perfection. Leaders are humans and humans fail more often than we are willing to admit.

Own your failures and learn from them. What emotions are you feeling? What went wrong? What assumptions were made? What were your behaviors and thoughts? How will you self-manage to prevent future letdowns? When you’ve had a setback, it’s very easy to start thinking that you will always keep failing in this area of your life. You might even be thinking that you are a failure. Don’t let this false and destructive talk get to you; you may have failed but you are not a failure.

It’s difficult, but I think you’ll find that once you admit the failure and your part in it to yourself, you will feel relieved. Sitting with this knowledge will help you work through failures much easier. Then, articulate it to those who were impacted by your mistake. Don’t make excuses or place blame on others. Express your apology and move forward with positive, corrective actions.

Then we can learn from it.

Some see admitting to failure as weakness. Instead, your co-workers will see it as strength if you truly learn the lessons and apply corrective personal behaviors. Failures become weaknesses when we don’t see them or don’t admit them. Your colleagues see your mistakes, so admitting them and learning from them encourages your team to do the same.

Express your regret, but don’t stop there. State your action plan for correcting the failure and then move forward. Sometimes it is helpful to allow your team to communicate additional steps that could be corrective. This promotes team openness and vulnerability.

I’ve heard it said that anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail. While most of us often only hear people’s successes, we must remember that the path to these successes have many setbacks. These setbacks are where success is born and nurtured.

Lastly, it’s important to move forward.

Moving forward without dwelling on your failures can be formidable for those of us who are perfectionists. Sometimes it helps to seek coaching or mentoring if you find you continue to “beat yourself up.” Private encouragement and suggestions can help you see the bigger picture and capture your strengths instead of reliving the mistake. Talking with your mentor or your boss will help you see your contributions to the team when you may only see your failure. Allow others to support you in your growth.

Most importantly, especially as a leader, allow others to make mistakes.

Teach what you are learning to your team. Allow them to be human and learn from their own mistakes as you are. Take them through the lessons you are learning. Teams that struggle, learn, and grow together build natural trust. Being open about your mistakes encourages others to do so, and helps everyone feel seen as a person, and not just an employee, when they are at work.

My best learning takes place in the crucible of failure. I’m a better consultant and trainer because I am also flawed. The more we can see ourselves in this way and allow others the same benefit of the doubt, the better leader of people we become.

Because he is one of my favorite leaders, I conclude with this Churchill quote: “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Your best style of leadership should have many variables and context. You choose the leadership style needed at any given moment based on the context of yourself, those you are leading, and the work environment. In order to discover what’s needed to lead, ask yourself the below questions. At first, this may take some getting used to, but soon it will become automatic and you’ll easily fit leadership styles to situations without thinking twice.

Choosing a leadership style

First, you must look to your own personality, motivators, and experience. How are you most comfortable leading and being led? What are your personality strengths and how do these lead to your weaknesses when carried to extreme or frequency? What experience do you have leading and influencing others?

Second, what are the strengths and weaknesses of those you are influencing and leading? What are their motivators? What is their work experience and competence? Are they learners or competent experts?

Third, what are the organization’s strengths and weaknesses in the marketplace? What are the crises? Where is change urgent? Where is status quo acceptable?

The different leadership styles

Based on your answers to the above questions, you will choose a leadership style below to fit each situation. There are at least 7 different leadership styles to choose from. You may know of more – if so, leave us a comment below!

Democratic: The democratic leader makes decisions based on the input of teams. Every person shares their point of view and often the leader makes the final decision. This style can be effective because leaders can utilize the role to educate, secure buy-in, and problem-solve difficult scenarios. However, you may not always have the time for this process.

Autocratic or Directive: Autocratic leadership, also known as authoritarian leadership, is a leadership style characterized by individual control over all decisions and little input from group members. These leaders typically make choices based on their ideas and judgments. This works well in a crisis, but rarely leads to buy-in and commitment from followers later.

Supportive or Servant: Servant leaders focus on meeting the needs of their followers; they lead by example. Supportive leaders are other-focused and motivated to help others succeed. This unselfish approach requires integrity, authenticity, and truly generous spirit. Therefore, this motivates others and leads to high morale among motivated professionals – some call this a coaching leadership style. This style is great for team and individual development, but not always efficient at getting things done.

Laisse-Faire: Laisse-faire leaders yield nearly all authority to a trusted team. The term literally means “let them do.” Some leaders view this as empowerment, but it can lead to a lack of direction and irresponsibility on the part of the leader. Development of others often lags under this leadership. There aren’t many positives for this style of leadership because it leads to a disconnected team and leader. Use this style sparingly and then only with accomplished colleagues for short periods of time.

Strategic or Visionary: Strategic leaders prompt change and improvement by being strategic in their thinking, actions, and words. They have a knack for pointing out new possibilities, seeing challenges as opportunities, and causing others to catch and share their vision. They are a force that works to continually move teams and organizations forward.

Transformational: Transformation leaders motivate others to do more than thought they might otherwise have been able to. They propose aspirational thought of what could be and then point the way to change and improvement. These kinds of leaders challenge and ask people to achieve new heights previously thought inconceivable.

Transactional: Transactional leaders focus of the exchange of value. Followers get immediate and tangible results for following the plan. This style requires clear expectations and communication. Without clear feedback, the results and the transaction fail. This type of leadership style is good for speed and efficiency, but often doesn’t build trust or lead to team/individual development.

Leadership in action

Being a new leader means you’re constantly learning. A great new leader will lean into this, and seek to educate themselves about their team and the individuals in it so they can best work to accomplish the team’s collective goals. You don’t need us to tell you that it’s not always easy. However, by continuing to develop these various leadership styles, you will get more comfortable leading and working with your team.

We’re curious – which leadership style do you gravitate toward? Which one do you need to work on? In the comments below, let us know which one is your favorite and how we might be able to help you develop the others.